More from the archives

Life Seeks It’s Reflection
Mixed Media on Canvas
2008

Here is a little more from my conversation with my sons and wife.

In talking about miracles – and life in the universe – the question came up as it always will: Why? What’s it all for? Is God a guy with a beard?

Well, I can’t answer these questions for anyone. The search for the answers is what can come to define the shape of your life, so I leave that entirely up to you. All I know is what I know.

In my own meditations and dreaming I have found that it is all a beautiful, timeless weave, everything touches everything eventually. We are a fabric, a song.

We are life’s longing for itself, the universe seeking it’s own reflection. I look at you and I see the spark of the divine in you. I see that you are not only a part of creation, you are creation fulfilled. You are the dreaming creator. So am I. So is everyone and everything. Behind the mask of our physical forms lies the underlying and awesome truth: we are all the same.

When you look down past molecules, past electrons, past quarks, and so on, you come to it. The place where there is nothing. A vast emptiness. It is neither cold, nor warm. Neither dark nor light. It is the place where the dream of existence originates.

There is no dichotomy or good or evil or right or wrong. All is one with no judgments.

Where do our prayers go? Where does our meditation take us? Could it be that place where nothing is written, where all things are possible?

Could there have been nothing and so at the same time everything?

Could it be that we are the mind of the universe? That we are it’s senses? That if that is so, then perhaps one day we will know the slow burning thoughts of a star, the great song of a galaxy and witness the dance of a trillion souls in endless variety, played out against this cosmic playground.

But for now it’s enough to look at a leaf, breathe in the air, feel the beating of your own heart. For now, listen to the silence, for it too is a song. Watch a mote of dust spinning through the air, pushed by nothing but the warmth of the sun through a windowpane. You are watching an entire reality float by in the late afternoon light.

For now breathe and let love be your truth. It’s enough. Indeed, it’s all there is.

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Notes for my Children – Acceptance

This is the first and sometimes most difficult step to maturity, but I know you can do it:

Before anything else can happen you must first accept everything in your life.

Only you can choose your thoughts, and only you can choose your reactions. No one else can do it for you. Even giving up that control to someone else is a choice. If your life sucks, it’s your choice to see it that way. If your life is great, that is also a choice. Accept this. The only way we can ever change anything is to first be honest with ourselves.

Allow yourself to see your imperfections. Accept the fact that you’re not always right. Accept that you don’t always live up to your own ideals. Accept that your health could be terrible, your finances a wreck, and your relationships a pending disaster or an ongoing battle. Be honest with yourself. Don’t suck that gut in. Don’t pay credit with credit. Don’t blame your partner or child or friend for poor communication.

Look in the mirror, let it all hang out and see it for what it is.

Accept that you are human.

Once you can be totally honest about what your life is and about who you are, then we can move on to the next concept.

But before that, let me assure you, I know this isn’t easy. I know there will be an almost automatic and unconscious desire to smooth out the rough edges and whitewash reality. It is never easy the first time. It’s not easy the thousandth time! But without the ability to do this, your life will just happen to you. You will be living without purpose or vision and will never have any true control over yourself.

Everything will be someone else’s fault, or worse, when something good happens you’ll take all the credit. You’ll be living a lie all the days of your life and never understand why you feel angry, insecure, lost, or sad.

You’ll be weak, easily offended, easily discouraged. You’ll look at the world and see only obstacles. You’ll be too timid to try anything. You deserve a full, happy, strong, confident, adventurous life. You deserve to make great contributions to the world and raise the spirits of everyone you come into contact with.

You deserve every good thing.

Accept all the warts that exist. Accept everything you see in the mirror. Don’t hide.

Don’t run for false security. Nothing outside of yourself will ever be enough, so why bother seeking? It will waste your limited days and hours of life.

Don’t flinch, don’t turn away.

Look in the mirror, turn your eye inward on yourself. Be humble, be honest.

Accept.

…Rain or Shine…

Buffalo I
5″ x 7″
Mixed Media on Canvas
2010

Have you ever gotten close to a buffalo? Have you ever looked into one of those deep, limpid, liquid eyes? Has that buffalo spoken to you? What did she say? Did she tell you about her dreams? Did she talk about her calf, the day it was born, how it ran! Did she talk about circling the children when danger approached, forming a wall of flesh, fur and love? Of the dust rising in the heat of the day – parched and dry – to let them know it was time to move on? Did she describe the exhilarating pace as hooves struck the ground in a deep, satisfying, earth shaking rumble? Did she tell you about the day her baby fell down, never to get up again, as the iron horse rumbled past with a clanging mockery of their own thunder? Did she tell you how they all disappeared, the people starved and fences rose to carve apart the land? Did she tell you those dreams?

Did you listen?

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